Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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