then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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