We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
