This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
