last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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