haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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