i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
