I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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