Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Everything about him screamed your future.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
