Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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