So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
