Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
