Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
