We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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