i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Do vagina's smell?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
