does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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