they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
