You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
