how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
