what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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