Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
