I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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