i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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