Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
