Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
