Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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