the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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