Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Randomize
