Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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