so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
