hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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