I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
