As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
