i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
