Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
