I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
