You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
