I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
