Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She bit a glass in half.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm just crazy horny about you
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
