The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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