They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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