Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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