I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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