Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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