So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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