Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
