im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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