I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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