I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
