Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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