I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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