There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
