Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
