Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
