I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
